Some days are just crap. Like seriously crap, when you feel like running for the nearest bridge. Head is thick white fog, eyes blurred and burning, face shoved hard against cold brick wall, heart quietly flatlining.
At some point the present moment slaps, shallow breath returns and you think to yourself. What. Why.
What could possibly be so wrong? Why do I feel so miserable?
A difficult relationship. A tough job. A tight financial situation. An inconvenient living arrangement.
My Mother always used to say to me, “stress less”, as if I could click my heels and all would suddenly be right in my world. She would reassure me that as I had both my arms and both my legs, there was really no reason to be so unhappy. And then my Father would pipe up with, “moenie worry nie”. At which point I would want to punch both of them in the face.
And although my parents made a very good point, sometimes you just can’t shake that feeling of doom and gloom, no matter how many less fortunate people than yourself you see and imagine.
Whatever that feeling – worry, stress, sadness, rage – sometimes we get caught up in it and forget that we can actually release ourselves from those feelings, or at least manage them better, without having to actually fix that big bad problem out there.
Here are a few ways I have found to help ride that wave of negativity onto the shores of a much brighter and more peaceful outlook.
I have referenced the 5 koshas of the body in each of the 5 titles of my tips. For those who are interested in learning about the koshas can do so here. Otherwise, just know that they are the layers of the body, the means by which we experience this world. This is my interpretation of how we examine our body (all 5 layers of it) to better manage emotional stress.
- Look at your physical body.
What are you eating and drinking? How much are you sleeping? What exercise are you doing? What are you watching? What are you listening to? Look at all your senses and examine what your body is taking in. Fuel your body with what it needs. Recharge your batterries properly. Keep your body in good condition. Stress is an emotion that often manifests in a physical form. A physically healthy body will go a long way in coping with stress.
- Look at your energy body.
Are you breathing? Yes, that might sound like a stupid question as you say, “of course I’m breathing, idiot!” My point is are you breathing properly? Put your hand on your chest and feel where your breath is. If you’re stressed, you’ll find that it is only your chest that is rising and falling, and probably quite rapidly. If you want to calm down then breathe properly. Breathe from the bottom of your belly, through to your ribs, all the way up to your chest. Breathe until your lungs just reach capacity, and then let it all out; but do it slowly. Let your exhale be as deep and as long as your inhale. Breathing deeply and slowly is both calming and invigorating. It’ll sooth after a stressful incident and it’ll energise before an important meeting. Which means it’ll work well both first thing in the morning and just before bed.
- Look at your mental body.
What stories are you telling yourself? What thoughts are you running away with? Identify your thoughts. Idenitfy negative thoughts. Replace these thoughts with a positive version, or find something else that is positive to focus on. What you think, you become. So if you’re constantly thinking, OMG I was terrible at that. OMG my life is so tough. OMG I’m never going to meet anyone, then guess what? You will be terrible, your life will be tough, and you probably will never meet anyone. If you turn that around, and instead tell yourself, OMG I always do my best, OMG I am so strong, OMG I meet people all the time, then guess what? You will do your best, you will be strong, and you will meet someone. You may not be able to change the problem, but you can certainly change the way you look at it.
- Look at your knowledge body.
What do you actually know to be true? What are you assuming? What generalisations are you making? What stereotypes are you perpetuating? Don’t presume to know the answer. Go and ask that person. How much of what you are thinking has to do with the other person or are you just reflecting? Are you judging yourself? If you were to judge a friend the same way you are judging yourself, would you be as judgemental? Often we fixate on the past or on the future, rather than being aware of what actually is the case in the present moment.
- Look at your bliss body.
Remember that at the end of the day, you are not actually your physical body, your emotions, your thoughts nor even your intellect. So if you don’t get all that stuff, I have just spoken about, right, it is not the end of the world. You’re still you, a magical little soul that gets to try all over again tomorrow.
looking for signs 